(Photo via Myra.Photo)
This last weekend Stephen and I celebrated our one year anniversary! We spent the whole day Saturday driving around like we were on a road trip and eating the best Mexican and Italian food we’ve ever had in San Diego. It was a much needed date since we haven’t gone on one since our son was born and the last few we’ve had I was miserably pregnant.
Stephen and I met 7 years ago and dated for 2 years. We spent much of our waking days with one another and seriously thought we knew everything about each other! We definitely knew a lot but during our couple years away we both have changed and have had to get to know each other again and it’s been quite an adventure, not to mention marriage is always different than dating. Here are 10 things I’ve learned this last year:
- Blending families is tough. Or if you marry later in life, or you married really young, or too soon, or with kids or without kids. Marriage is just tougher than our ideal of what it’ll be like.
- What ever thoughts you nurture about your spouse will be the way you start perceiving them to be. If you think about all the negative and the things that bother you, they’ll start to annoy you more but if you focus on their strengths and think about the positive you’ll see the good.
- If you’ve got young kids and you want to…you have to schedule it in. That’s all I’m going to say on that one.
- Dates are important or else the person you’re married to starts feeling like a roommate. I resist this one for some reason, probably because I hate trying to find a babysitter.
- Having defined roles works for us. I have an aunt who says her husband makes the money and she spends it and I first thought it was silly and ‘poor husband’ but now I get it and it really works best for us that way too. It makes things much less complicated when you only have one spender. Only I like to say he makes the money and I work at stretching the dollar.
- Sometimes your spouse seems crazy…sometimes they think you’re nuts!
- You need a spouse who finds you lovable, even when you feel you aren’t. It makes the world of a difference when there is forgiveness and seeking to understand.
- One on one dates with kids are important too. If you want to make sure everyone feels needed and important, taking time to do one on one with everyone in the family really helps.
- Laughing is important…laughing at the appropriate time is important too. I think I’ve almost got the one down now.
- Marriage only works if you’re married to your best friend.
I love you Stephen! Here’s to many many more years.